I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
