Midget sex pt 2 tonight
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Randomize
