I think i sorta joined a cult last night
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Randomize
