You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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