The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
