I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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