if you like me you must not know who I am
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Randomize
