I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Randomize
