Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
i think i have herpe
just one?
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
should my penis look like a turkey
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
