Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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