i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Randomize
