just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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