He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
