Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
