i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
