I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
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