Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
