jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
