we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
My pussy is not your playground.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Randomize
