Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
