elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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