While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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