Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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