I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
Randomize
