If i come over, it means nothing
butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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