i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
