Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
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