"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
