her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
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