Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
