I'm going to rape someone's good day.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize
