Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Randomize
