dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Randomize
