I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
