where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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