There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
