I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
I party with great urgency now.
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