dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
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