I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Randomize
