if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
im drinking this country out of the recession.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
