At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize
