You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
where are my eyebrows?
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize
