I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
