Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
