Buhtt sex?
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
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