In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
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