it's like iHOP with fire
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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