my being single is dangerous.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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