carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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