Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
just tell him i said nine months
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
