he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
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