hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
